Showing posts with label emotional intelligence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotional intelligence. Show all posts

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Instilling Compassion & Empathy in Younger Children

teaching compassion
When I was pregnant with my first child I remember dreaming about what character traits I would want her to have. Compassion was the first thing that came to mind. The world would be a much better place if everyone had even an ounce more compassion inside of them.  How can we instill compassion and empathy in our children? Cognitively, empathy takes time to develop. However, there are ways to start planting the seeds of compassion at a young age. My daughter is only 3 and it is amazing to see how empathetic and compassionate she is becoming with each passing day.

Learning About Emotions
Our post on feelings is a great place to start! Teaching children to express their emotions and to learn to read other people's emotions is the first step to developing empathy and compassion. My daughter has learned how to read other people's facial expressions. If she sees me grimace, she will often say, "Mommy, what's the matter? Are you sad? Do you need a kiss?" Take opportunities to talk about how your children feel in different situations, and ask your little ones how they think others are feeling.
teaching compassion

Giving To Others 
Use every opportunity you can to teach your child the importance of giving to others. The act of giving to another teaches selflessness. Have your child participate in making or picking out birthday/special occasion presents for friends and family members. If someone is sick, have your child make them a card. If you pass a homeless person on the street, give your child some money to hand to them. If you see a hungry squirrel in the park, encourage your child to give it some food. Make sure you explain why you are doing these nice acts. For example, "Your friend isn't feeling well, so it will make her so happy if you make her a special card," or, "Grandma's birthday is coming up and she would be so happy if you made her a craft."  You are teaching your child that it is important to serve and help others, and make other people and creatures feel good!  :)

teaching compassion
Painting a picture for Grandpa's birthday!

Observing the World 
Help your child understand that other people/creatures have feelings by pointing things out as they interact with the world. For example, if you see another child fall down and start crying in a park, point it out to your child and say, "Oh dear, she fell and hurt herself.  She's crying because she's sad, so let's see if she needs a hand."  Or if you're on the subway and a person with a cane comes in, you might say, "That man looks tired and it might be hard for him to stand up.  Let's see if he would like to sit down to rest."  Your child will start learning to notice others around them and think of ways to help. Just today my daughter was sitting on a seat in the subway while I stood beside her and she looked up and said, "Mommy, would you like my seat?"  You could even make this a game and see who can come up with more ways to help others you see around you!

teaching compassion

Role-Playing 
Putting yourself in someone else's shoes is empathy in a nutshell. Role-playing is a great way to introduce your child to this concept. For example, after reading a story, have your child pretend to be a character in the book. Pick out characters that go through various difficulties. My daughter's favourite book is about a bunny that wishes she had friends (Snow Bunny's Christmas Wish by Rebecca Harry). I have my daughter pretend to be Snow Bunny who is lonely and asks Santa for friends for Christmas. After we are done playing, we talk about how we can make someone like Snow Bunny feel better. I have watched her transfer this learning to a real life situation when there was a little girl alone in the playground. My daughter said, "Mama, she looks lonely.  I will be her friend," and off she went to play with her. It was definitely a proud mama moment! <3

teaching compassion

Role Modelling 
You are your child's role model. They are watching your every move. They will copy the way they see you interacting with the world. Holding doors for others, offering your seat in the subway, helping an elderly person cross the street, stopping to check on an injured animal, making food for your sick neighbour, etc. are all actions that teach your child compassion. Role-modelling is the single most powerful tool you have to teach your child. Use it well.

teaching compassion

Reading about Compassion and Empathy
Books are amazing for teaching your little ones about all sorts of things, so why not use them to instill compassion in them?  Here are some of the books we read or stories we tell our children (no affiliate links!  Just books we love!):
compassion in children
Pin me for later!

Tip! Make up your own stories where your child is the main character performing altruistic actions. For example, my daughter loves the story where she is a caring princess that saves orphaned baby animals in the magical forest. She really enjoys acting out the story while I tell it to her.

How do you instill compassion/empathy in your child? Please share your ideas with us so we can work together to raise children that will make a positive change in this world!

teaching compassion

Sunday, 19 April 2015

Raising emotionally intelligent children

The terrible twos.  What makes them so terrible, exactly?  One of the things I noticed, literally the week my daughter turned two, was that she started throwing tantrums.  I think one of the main reasons she's started doing this is that she's starting to feel all these emotions and doesn't know what to do with them.  She feels upset or angry, but doesn't know how to express it.  Knowing how to identify and express emotions and feelings is a huge part of emotional intelligence. 

How are you feeling, little one?

I recently read this article that highlights the importance of emotional intelligence as adults, but I think it's so important for us to be raising emotionally intelligent children, too.  In conflict resolution, one of the main things we teach is to express your feelings by using "I" statements.  You know, "I feel _____ when you do _____."  Expressing our feelings is key in developing stronger relationships and getting to know others.  That's why teaching your children emotional vocabulary is so important!  Learning to recognize how others are feeling is also really important in learning to be compassionate and empathetic.  I've been trying to teach this to my 2.5 year old (and my husband, too, haha), and I thought I'd share how we are trying to do it.

When she was younger, I would identify how she appeared to be feeling when she was emoting.  For example, when she was crying, I'd say, "You're crying.  It looks like you feel sad."  If she was throwing a tantrum, I'd wait until she was calmer, and then say, "You were crying and yelling.  Were you angry?"

 
We started with these emotions:
  • happy
  • sad
  • mad/angry
  • scared
  • excited
  • lonely
  • embarrassed
Then we started reinforcing some of these during our bedtime routine.  I came across this post in my Pinterest travels, so I've started asking my daughter the first two questions:


I want her to be able to express what made her happy so that we can pray and be thankful for these things.  And lately she's taken to telling me she's happy because I'm playing with her.  Melt.   She has also taken to telling me she's lonely in an effort to get me to co-sleep with her.  Can't blame a girl for trying!  As she learns to express these feelings, I think we'll venture into asking her about her other emotions.



We've also had great success discussing feelings through books.  I like to ask my daughter how she thinks people are feeling by looking at their expressions.  There are lots of great children's books about feelings.  These are some of our favourites:

If you're looking for a longer list, there's a great feelings book list for infants and toddlers. 

Tip! If you have photos of your child showing different emotions, why not print your own photobook using Shutterfly, or another photobook publisher?

How do you help your child express his or her emotions and feelings?  What resources do you use?
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...