Monday, 28 September 2015

The Top 20 Excuses our Toddlers Use to Get Out of Bed

My kids love their sleep, but they like staying up with mom and dad even better! My daughter is especially notorious for calling us in with a myriad of excuses, and they make us chuckle. I put together a list of the top 20 excuses she's come up with in the last little while.  I know there are some other hilarious lists out there, and I'm sure your little ones have come up with some really good ones, too!  Share them with us, because we love having a good laugh!
  1. “I need to pee.” You.literally.just.peed. But okay, so we pee. Toddler forces a drop of pee out to prove her honesty. 
  2. “I missed you.”  It’s hard to say no to this one, but stay strong.  Send that kid back to bed!
  3. “What are you and dad doing?”  Waiting for you to fall asleep.  Seriously.  Go back to bed.
  4. “I’m hungry.”  That’s because you refused to finish your vegetables at dinner.  I told you you’d be hungry later!  In your toddler face (you can tell I'm a super-mature mom)!
  5. “I’m thirsty.”  Sometimes I wish I could hook you up to an IV that would provide for all your nutritional and hydration needs.
  6. “I saw something.”  Bless your heart for calling me in to tell me that. 
  7. “But you and daddy are still awake.”  Yes, yes we are.  When you’re old enough to drive a car, you can join us.
  8. “I lost my <fill in favourite lovey here>.”  You mean the one that’s right above your head?  Do they make stuffed animal leashes?  Can I tie this blanket to your wrist so you don’t lose it again?
  9. “It’s too hot.”  That’s probably because you’ve buried yourself in a mound of blankets and stuffed animals. 
  10. “It’s too cold.”  And now we’re Goldilocks, are we?  What is the optimal thermostat-slash-pajama combo that will allow you to achieve perfect homeostasis for sleep?!
  11. “There’s a monster under the bed/in the closet.”  You should probably deal carefully this one.  You know, to save you the counseling fees later on in life.
  12. “It’s too dark.” We have the night light turned on, remember?  Toddler remembers, but could obviously care less. 
  13. “It’s too light.”  The evil cousin of, “It’s too dark.”  Often used in the summer when the sun doesn’t go down until much too late.
  14. “I need to pee.  Again.”  Yes.  Again.  Sometimes potty-trained toddlers can be such jerks.
  15. “I forgot to tell you about <fill in mundane detail of toddler’s day here>.”  If you can’t convince your toddler to tell you about it in the morning, nod your head, affirm with, “Hmm, that’s great,” and get your butt out of there.
  16. “We forgot to read <insert name of the longest bedtime storybook you own>.”  Sorry, mommy forgot.  And by forgot, I mean that I buried the book in the back of the closet so you never select it as your 30-minute bedtime story ever again.
  17. “My tummy hurts.” Could be legitimate.  Or it might not be.  But, a little tummy rub never killed anyone.
  18. “I slept yesterday, so I’m not tired today.”  Ha, if only life worked like that!  I could work 3 full-time jobs and be rolling in the dough.
  19. “I had a bad dream.”  This is literally impossible, because you haven’t actually fallen asleep yet. 
  20. “You forgot to kiss me goodnight.”  In the midst of all the good night hugs and cuddles, I have inadvertently forgotten your goodnight kiss!  Shame on me.
What excuses does your toddler use to delay bedtime?  Share your best excuses with us.  We'd love to laugh (cry?) along with you!

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